It’s an easy word with only 2 letters, that we learn to say all the time in our terrible twos, so why later in life does it become hard to say no?
Is it because we want to do it all?
…Or because we’re really kidding ourselves that we have more than 24 hours in a day?
Maybe we don’t want to let others down.
Perhaps an extra activity to make yourself appear cool in front of new people?
The fact is sometimes you need to accept that some things are just not possible and admit to yourself that you can’t do it. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the progress I’ve made in my job over the past two years. My other co-workers seemed to press the idea that “even if there’s 2 minutes left you have to do it for the customer.” Which makes sense within reason, unless it will cost me an extra 20 minutes to clean up the mess I made related to providing service in those last 2 minutes.
Can you walk into a salon 2 minutes before they close asking for a hair cut? Debatable, because they may be a commission-based worker or the owner and can authorize themselves to stay over the allotted time in a day. Not all workers have that kind of flexibility though. In many cases there aren’t enough hours in the day to keep up, so all that can be done is work in the time allotted and leave at quitting time, since you’ll probably have to work a similar shift the next day just as hectic.
Still it’s hard to tell people “No” when they are very expectant or pushy, for example charity workers canvassing the streets in your city or town. Sometimes even if you care about their cause you’re in a hurry or they are just too annoying and you’d rather donate in another manner rather than talk to them in order to fill their ‘quota’.
….Then again it’s your money to decide if you want to give or not, and they should respect that.
In the end I know I’m a very people-pleasing oriented person. I know I’ve grown in my ability to serve others in which I view it as a good humbling experience rather than “them vs. me” AKA the customers are evil approach. With my own family I listen to both sides of the argument, but ultimately tell each party what I know they want to hear. Which is very difficult when you CAN’T tell the person what they want to hear…. YES.
My best advice is to then:
- Evaluate how possible or impossible it would be to change that “NO” to a “YES” (Never say yes to anything unsafe, uncomfortable, or illegal)
- When it’s possible, try to take a positive approach to problem-solving, or referring to people who can make it happen.
- When impossible, be sincere and realistic about it. Especially if the answer is a “not right now, but maybe next week.”
- Practice methods of saying it, and try to understand how you can make your life work best so you’re not stressing out over too many activities.
- Don’t always view “Yes” as a favour to others…. we all have stuff we don’t want to do but have to, you’re probably not as hot stuff as you think. Try to feel humble and calm about doing tasks, not saddened and violated of your free time/good will
- ….Unless your caring nature IS being used against you… in which case you know which two letters to use ^^;
- In the case of someone trying to convince you of something you’re not comfortable with or even sure if it’s legal, stand firm in your beliefs and don’t be convinced otherwise if you think it will compromise your safety or integrity. Try talking it out, but if it’s not possible ask for advice or get away from that person entirely.
For Teens\Unsafe Conditions
When I say “Stuff you don’t want do do” I mean things like chores. NOT activities that could constitute as abuse.
In normal cases, whatever your parents are asking of you at home is usually way more easy than what you will ever experience in your future career. They don’t OWE you money to do chores around the house or look after your younger siblings until they get home from work. You already get a free place to live, meals, and other needs met from your parents. They work at their job to provide this for you, something you will never get back, or deserve, once you move out and have to pay all of those things yourself and find out how hard you need to work for it.
Your parents are trying to teach you lessons of discipline and how to value what they sacrifice for you as parents for your happiness and education. In the future if you can’t resolve some problems it could end up costing your future company a lot of money and you a job, not just a fight with your parents where you lock yourself in your room for a few hours then get over it. Learning to deal with difficult people and holding your tongue is a lot about what being an adult is about.
Special cases being where your parents/guardians/friends/classmates are abusive mentally/physically/emotionally. If you have an adult family member or friend you can trust, tell them about your situation or even a councilor at school, they can tell you what counts as abuse and what counts as just parents being strict. Your safety is important, if someone tries to get you to do something you feel uncomfortable you shouldn’t agree to it, EVER~!
Remember, in Canada you can always call Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868 (free and anonymous, 24/7), also if you don’t feel comfortable talking, or need to be more secrative, they also provide online service through message boards: http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/ I used it before to ask some questions a few years back, they usually answer in a way that makes YOU think about your options when you feel helpless, rather than handing you answers that will try to sway you one way or the other.
Use your best discretion and remember that learning how to say no and stand up for yourself is an important life skill. Always do what makes you feel the best about your decisions and consult others as needed~!
Yeah I’m going as the evil one, but I identify better with Catherine because she’s cute and sexy. My Favourite combo. Katherine is kind of boring to me, I know someone will get mad at me for saying I don’t like the ‘smart cool girl’ better, but I just don’t. I played for the Catherine ending the first time I played.I also enjoyed Katherine’s ending, mainly because she uses her smarts to her advantage heh
Yep we got some poor sap to take a photo of us….
